Science

Children Can Thrive

Let’s focus on the solutions

It is interesting to note the arguments back and forth about why some students do not thrive.

Some stating it is the teachers fault if a student does not thrive.

Some stating it is the lack of an interested adult in the home.

Let’s get to the root of it. Either could make a huge beneficial difference.

The true reason many students do not thrive is that they have developed beliefs that they cannot, or that their actions do not matter “Learned Helplessness”, or they have been told often enough that they are ‘dumb’ or ‘stupid’ or other lies. They have been labeled and are living up to the expectations put upon them. They have been judged as lacking and are living up to those expectations.

Going backwards and trying to uncover where it originated is a waste of time and effort.

Where time and effort belongs is in helping students understand that their actions do matter – that their life is not determined by their current circumstances.

That others opinions do not have to be their own opinion. Henry Ford said “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, either way you are right”. Unfortunately we have ill informed parents and others who will label children and then the child begins to believe the label and perform to that standard.

Society also does not understand that the happier you are the more intelligent you are. I know many are going to scoff at this statement but read further. Have you, or someone you know, ever been so stressed that you literally could not think? Perhaps you put your head in your hands and said “Give me a moment, I can’t think”? There is an example of an individual at a low emotional place not being as intelligent. Intelligence, creativity, and resilience exist along a continuum and increase in step with increases in happiness, positive emotions, optimism and positive expectation. There is a great deal of science behind this statement. Barbara L. Fredrickson, Ph.D.’s (UNC – Chapel Hill) book, Positivity, is probably the easiest read on the topic.

Much of the world views happiness as a fluffy topic and as something that will come after a goal is achieved or as a transitory thing that feels good for a day.

The happiness I am describing is defined as that deep sense of inner stability, peace, well-being, and vitality that is consistent and sustainable. It is not dependent upon circumstances but upon beliefs, expectations, emotions, and focus. Mindset is powerful.

Not only does happiness contribute beneficially to the ability to learn but to health, relationships, and success. There are even studies showing that it has a positive impact on reducing crime, alcohol and drug abuse and even teen pregnancy.

Right now the research on this topic is scattered across many silo’d fields including positive psychology, neuroscience, behavioral theory, sociology, quantum physics, resilience, emotional intelligence and more.

I have a passion for the topic and have been researching it for years. I have never cared which field had relevant research which has resulted in a connection of the dots in a way that brings the knowledge being gained in many fields together.

Using techniques to empower students, to help them achieve a positive expectation and focus and ensuring they have skills to bring themselves back to that point if they get a bit off path would make such a tremendous positive impact on their lives and future potential.

Benefits, Blogs, Parenting, Science

parenting

The absence of negative emotions ≠ the presence of positive emotions.

The absence of negative emotions ≠ presence of positive emotions.

“The absence of the negative is not the same thing as the presence of positive emotions.

“The absence of the negative is not the same thing as the presence of the positive. We found that factors such as optimism, life satisfaction, and happiness are associated with reduced risk of cardiovascular disease regardless of such factors as a person’s age, socioeconomic status, smoking status, or body weight,” said lead author Julia Boehm, research fellow in the Department of Society, Human Development, and Health at Harvard School of Public Health.

Chronic positive emotions, optimism, and happiness provide benefits that increase vitality and longevity but also benefits that improve relationships and even success.

Over the years I have found that many individuals accept their current emotional state and have no idea how to change it.

They attempt to be stoic and insist they are “OK” but being OK does not afford the health benefits that happiness does. Nor is it healthy for relationships and it does not contribute to the level of success you experience. We are not in a contest to see who can suffer or endure the longest. In the long run there are not prizes for ignoring your emotional state and toughing it out.

Many see weakness in asking for help yet the path to happiness is often not clear and quick fixes seldom work.

It is possible for anyone to enjoy more positive emotions, optimism and happiness if they know the skills and knowledge that helps them. Often skills are given without the knowledge so people give up because of the lack of knowledge. Sometimes the knowledge is given without the requisite skills.

When you have the whole puzzle the path to happiness is easy to navigate and there is truly no end to how happy an individual can become.

Once you are on the right path it becomes easier and easier as if circumstances are bending over backwards to help you. Those days when things are easy and things seem to fall into place easier than they used to is one of the symptoms you will experience continually as you move toward greater happiness. There are scientifically proven reasons for this and if you take the class you will understand those reasons.

The best health benefits are derived from the higher emotional levels which you would experience as things like love, appreciation, joy, enthusiasm, eagerness, interest, passion, awe, inspiration and so forth. If you are in a low emotional place you won’t get there overnight but you can get there and there are health benefits every step along the path. There are also benefits to your relationships and other activities as well.

Contented is not at the highest levels. It can make a good emotional resting place for a while but many people stop there, because feeling content is not a bad feeling, they stop moving toward the better feeling emotions. The trip is so worth while.

Many people have been taught to put others needs before their own and use that as their excuse to ignore their own emotional needs. Yes, you do need to be happy. Why do you think bodies function better when the person living in it is happy? That evidence is clear and compelling.

So, let’s look at it from the perspective of helping others. The following is based upon scientifically proven benefits of increased positivity.

“When you are happy you are at your best. You are in the best health. You are in the best mood. You are able to think with greater clarity. You are able to see solutions to problems far more readily. You need less from others (pumping up, assistance of all types, etc.). You contribute more by being happy so being happy is a priority for you. When you are happy you contribute to others by inspiring them to happiness. You contribute to others because when you feel great you want to help others feel just as wonderful. Sometimes, when someone feels rotten it makes them feel better to see someone else feel rotten too or see someone who is even worse off then they are. When you are happy it lifts you even higher to help others up and you gain no happiness or relief from their not being in a good place. Minding your happiness is minding your health because when you are happy you will be inclined to make good decisions about your diet and exercise and other habits. Happiness reduces the stress on your body and enables it to more easily maintain or regain its health. Your happiness is good for you and good for the world. Happiness is the path to peace.”

Studies have shown that increased happiness actually reduces racism and increases corporate citizenship.

Aren’t the benefits of happiness the things you want to see in the world? Healthier people being nicer to one another, family and strangers alike? Children confident in themselves – not fake pumped up self esteem – but real, they understand to the core of their being that they can be successful, that they can find solutions to problems, that they can decide to pursue their dreams? Better relationships among people and even peace. In our class you will understand the relationship between peace and happiness.

Interested in our classes? We are accepting enrollments for new classes now.

Positivity

Do you think Happiness is a Fluffy Topic?

Happiness is a serious problem

Think you have better things to do with your time than be happy or think about happiness or learn how to be happy?

Wondering why Harvard Business Review devoted a cover and many pages to the topic of happiness in January? Do you think they are losing it?

They have a clue.

If you don’t have one yet you are missing out.

You’re missing out on being your best. You’re missing out on being in the best health you can be in. You’re missing out on having getting and giving the best you can from your current relationships. Your missing out on a lot of success. You’re missing out on more healthy years at the end of your life and it is likely you are missing out on some years, too. You’re not making the best decisions you could make. You are not living up to your potential; not even close.

Scientists across many disciplines have been very busy conducting exacting research into happiness over the last two decades. For most of that time the results were tucked away in obscure and expensive scientific journals but the lid has blown off now.

Happiness, defined as a deep sense of inner stability, peace, well-being, and vitality that is consistent and sustainable, provides seemingly infinite benefits.

Just a few highlights are listed below.

Health Benefits

50% reduction in risk of cardiovascular disease

Protective against some cancers

Slows progress of disease

Improves immune system function

There is lots more ~ everything from colds & flu to diabetes, HBP and Alzheimers

Greater increase in longevity than from quitting smoking

Relationship Benefits

Relationships are more loving, deeper, less drama and turmoil, warmer, more supportive

Behavioral Benefits

More likely to make good decisions

Crimes, substance abuse and even teen pregnancy decline with increased happiness

Exercise, adequate sleep and good nutrition choices are more likely to be made

Intelligence and Creativity

Actually increase as happiness increases

Employer Benefits

Lower Absenteeism

Lower turnover

Increased productivity

Improved corporate citizenship

Lower health care costs

Now that you understand that happiness is not a fluffy, nice to have what are you going to do about it?

Let’s be clear. The absence of negative emotions is not happiness. The presence of somewhat chronic positive emotions is necessary to reap the benfits.

Are you there yet?

We know that just telling you to be positive is a waste of words. It takes a combination of knowledge and skills to get on the path and follow it.

Want to know the path?

Our classes are the best available to increase happiness, optimism, emotional intelligence, resilience, self mastery, well-being and improve relationships. A masterful combination of information that helps students have a clearer perspective about topics such as their own beliefs and the impact of current emotional state on behavior is utilized. The course includes more than 50 processes, many evidence based skills, to help students deliberately impact their emotional state and develop new habits of thought that are more beneficial to thriving.

Are you ready to give up being right (about happiness being a fluffy topic) and reap the benefits of new knowledge? Give yourself credit for your ability to learn something new. Celebrate that you now know something you did not know before. Revel in the fact that you live now when the benefits of happiness are becoming known.

Benefits, Blogs, Business, Science

How can employee happiness benefit your business?

benefits of employee happiness

Happiness? What does happiness have to do with your business?

Far more than most have ever imagined.

Happiness provides a solid foundation for success.

Do you wish your employees were smarter or more creative?

Do you long for healthier employees who are at work more often?

Would your life be easier if turnover declined?

Can you imagine a work environment where co-workers get along with one another fairly well?

Do you want your customers to be delighted after encounters with your employees?

Some people are just naturally energizing to be around. Happy employees are likely to be that way.

Happiness is the answer!

Scientists have been studying happiness and found that happiness contributes to success rather than being caused by success.

The same individual is smarter, healthier, more creative, more resilient, and has higher emotional intelligence when he or she is happy than when unhappy.

Benefits, Blogs, Business, Science

Positivity Reduces the Risk of Needing Long Term Care

Positivity Reduces the Risk of Needing Long Term Care

For many the fear of being unable to care for oneself is greater than the fear of death itself. Most of us accept that we are not going to live forever but we hope that the end comes in very old age and that it is not preceded by a period where we are not able to care for ourselves or are living in pain.

Science has been studying the benefits of positivity for a few decades now and the findings have clearly shown that a generally positive person, on average, (all other factors being equal) lives an average of 10 additional years than the person who is a generally negative person.

But beyond that, despite living longer, the positively focused individual has fewer years of life with chronic debilitating diseases.

Isn’t that what we all want? A long life in which we are able to enjoy living in our bodies? Blessed with health and vitality?

The purpose of this article is not to depress those who are generally negative and/or pessimistic. Science has also shown that individuals who chose to and who are equipped with the knowledge and tools necessary to become more positively focused and optimistic can do so.

It is not something that an individual can generally just decide to do and succeed because their neuro-pathways have been trained in the habits of thought they have been thinking. But it is not hard to change when the knowledge and tools are known. It is also a very fun thing to do. Perhaps, for someone who has been negatively focused, the most fun thing they have ever experienced.

Science has also shown that the absence of negative emotions is not the same as the presence of positive emotions. It is the presence of positive emotions that is associated with the health and well-being benefits.

Decreasing negativity even a little improves health and well-being, but the further the individual progresses toward feeling positive emotions the greater the benefits they derive.

It does not matter how many attempts an individual has made to be more positive they can do it with the right tools. Most programs do not provide all the knowledge and tools necessary to succeed. There are pitfalls along the way that will cause someone who dos not know about them to feel they cannot become more positive or that they have failed. The trick is recognizing the pitfalls and saying to yourself “Oh yeah, I knew this might happen, it does not mean I cannot do it. I have tools to help me get past this hurdle and when I do it will be wonderful.”

We have continuously searched for new information across many disciplines including positive psychology, neuroscience, resilience, sociology, emotional intelligence, quantum physics, psychoneuroimmunology, and behavioral science over many years. Our confidence in the tools and knowledge we have woven together is such that our classes come with a money back guarantee.

Most people do not succeed because they try one tool and then another or learn one piece of the puzzle and apply it but do not see the results they desire so they give up. Perhaps making multiple attempts over years but not using a masterfully developed plan.

Life is better in so many ways when you are positively focused, optimistic, and happy. Every day contains more life, energy, and vitality.

Living in a negative and pessimistic state feels like having a thorn in the bottom of your foot and just putting up with it, allowing it to impact your experiences. You don’t realize how good it was without the thorn until it is removed and you wonder “Why didn’t I do this sooner”?

Increased positivity reduces the risk of your needing long term care but it does so much more. Relationships are better. Your immune system functions better. You thinking is clearer and your level of creativity increases. Success is easier to attain. In another study the incomes of optimistic and pessimistic individuals were tracked from college and for 20 years after college. The earnings of the more optimistic individuals were significantly more 20 years later.

While we cannot guarantee that you will never need a nursing home if you increase your level of positivity the science is clear that it reduces the risk.

How do you want your grandchildren and great grandchildren to remember you? Positive and able to enjoy life with them or ?

If you have a daughter do you know that the daughter often pays a heavy price caring for her parent(s) who need care? Often giving up her own career aspirations and sometimes attempting to balance the care of a parent while still raising her own children. If you won’t do it for yourself, will you do it for your daughter?

The sooner you begin this journey the sooner you will begin enjoying life more. Even if you are young, there are benefits to your children who are living at home to your increased positivity. We discuss these in greater detail on our website.

positivity and longevity

Are You Passionate about Family Wellness?

Are you passionate about the well-being of your family?

If you are you will want to know about the research results that are slowly (too slowly in my opinion based on their importance) making their way out of the scientific research facilities and into the knowledge bank of both scientists and non-scientists in other fields.

The new research points the way to improved health, well-being, relationships, emotional intelligence, creativity, cognitive ability, decision-making, resilience, immune system function, depression. as well as reductions in racism, substance abuse, crime, teen pregnancy, and other social concerns.

One thing that can improve your relationships, your health, and your success?

One would think this information would be shouted from the rooftops.

The science is very solid. The proof is in.

Why isn’t it being talked about on every channel? I don’t know.

Science, I have learned, typically progresses slowly in adopting new ideas and beliefs.

Although they don’t tend to chop off their heads for radical new ideas these days the fear instilled about moving too far away from the norm is not far from that which a potential separation from ones head would invoke. New research in one field often takes years to reach professionals in other fields. There is a saying “Science progresses one funeral at a time.” — Max Planck

Many people are under the misconception that current scientific theories come to prominence in science because the new discoveries changed the minds of the old guard through proofs and experimentation. Closer to the truth is that, proof and experimentation changed the minds of younger scientists, and only when old guards die off, the new theories rise to take their place and make prominent the new theory. This is true even when the old beliefs are proven clearly false. Much of the progress we see (for example, advances in medical advances), comes not from science but from business building on science.

When actions can affect human well-being or change the world, that pace is entirely too slow. The information that has come to light can literally improve health and well-being significantly, reduce crime, reduce racism, reduce substance abuse, reduce teen pregnancy and, it is my belief that it is the path to peace.

When evidence from different scientific disciplines is combined the science is solid and compelling.

Positive emotions, optimism, and happiness provide these benefits and much more.

The absence of negative emotions is not the same as the presence of positive emotions.

Science has even shown that pessimists can become more optimistic and our own level of positive emotions is within our control.

All it takes is a little knowledge and a few skills to manage your emotions to a place where you can benefit from increased positive emotions, optimism, and happiness.

New research from Harvard even shows us why the benefits of positivity are so great. Our bodies were not designed to tolerate negative emotions for long periods of time. We were designed to respond to negative emotions the way we respond to other sensory input, by making changes to make things more comfortable for us. We do not leave our hands on a burning stove and ignore the pain. Neither should we ignore negative emotions. We are supposed to feel good most of the time. The research is available at www.emotionalsentience.com.

In addition to the typical flight and fight responses we all know about there is something called a “Right Response” (RR) described in this scientific paper that is most appropriate to most situations humans encounter in their day-to-day lives. Learning how to use RRs provides a level of self-mastery over ones emotions that is followed by thriving.

Positivity has a better impact on longevity than whether an individual smokes or not. How passionate are you about making sure your children do not take up this habit? If you put that much passion into helping them develop skill at RRs you will benefit them far more and they are more likely to make good decisions including the decision not to take up that habit.

Classes that teach Right Responses are available. See our website for details.

President, Happiness 1st Institute

Benefits, Blogs, Parenting, Science

family wellness

Two Kinds of Happiness

Two kinds of happiness

There are two kinds of happiness. One is transitory and the other is sustainable.

The transitory type of happiness is the one many people think of when they think of happiness. Our advertising community promotes this type of happiness. The current Coco-Cola advertisement is one example. The ad conveys that if you drink Coca Cola you will be happy.

Another ad campaign indicates that traveling to Costa Rica will make you happy.

Yet another ad indicates that having the right shoes will make you happy.

Because I am tuned into and understand happiness I notice this type of misleading advertising often.

The message people receive is to look outside themselves for happiness. That what they own, or do, is what will make them happy. There is nothing wrong with desire. It is natural and provides a natural, intrinsic form of motivation. It is our perception that achieving the desire is the basis of our happiness that prevents so many from ever achieving more than momentary bits of happiness.

Happiness, true happiness, provides life promoting benefits to all our bodily functions: brain, immune system, chemical balance and so much more. It is far too important to allow these misleading and damaging infomercials for momentary pleasure to continue.

It is true that a new car will make you happy, for an afternoon (maybe even for a week). But this type of happiness requires constant care and feeding. It is actually a prison. It can only be sustained with constant attention.

Research supports this. Even big life events such as your own wedding or a long awaited promotion provide only transient happiness.

We ask ourselves, is that all there is?

The empty feeling that accompanies the disappearance of the transient happiness, especially after achievement of a long sought prize, can be devastating.

Fortunately, there is a different type of happiness. This second type of happiness is sustainable without the need to constantly feed it with new achievements, acquisitions and relationship highs.

Those things help maintain it but this second type of happiness is more about how an individual perceives life. It about whether the glass is half full or half empty but with a deep understanding and deliberate choice to look on the bright side. Anyone, even life long pessimists, can learn to view life more optimistically.

Why would you want to do this?

Well, first and foremost, life is just more fun and feels better when you do. Isn’t that why you do everything you do, because you believe you will feel better if you do it (or in some cases if you do not do it)? You want that promotion because you believe you will feel better if you have it than if you do not have it. You want the new car because that feels better than driving an unreliable old car. It is at the root of all your decisions, whether conscious or not.

But there are many more benefits. The last 20 years some scientists have turned their attention to studying human thriving. The findings have astounded them and are great news for us. Positive emotions, optimism, and happiness confer tremendous benefits in the form of improved health and immune function, better relationships and greater success. Information about these benefits and scientific citations supporting them are available on our website, Happiness1st.com.

Learning how to develop and maintain the sustainable type of happiness is fun and easy with the right knowledge and tools.

Jeanine Joy is the Founder and President of Happiness 1st Institute. We teach the skills that lead to sustainable happiness–the kind that can extend your life and more importantly, the number of healthy years in your life.

Benefits, Blogs, Business, Science

kinds of happiness

All-in-one Wellness Programs are Flawed, Incomplete

All In One Wellness Programs are Flawed

Right now I am giving companies the benefit of the doubt when they promote an “All In One Wellness Program” and a review of the program reveals that it does not contain a substantial element to decrease stress (or increase employee positivity and optimism, which is essentially the same thing).

Why am I giving them the benefit of the doubt?

Because much of the information and research on the benefits is still silo’d among various branches of science. It is only my deep and burning passion for the subject that has led me to look across disciplines and see the whole picture.

It is still common for me to read research and books from that indicate about some findings “But we don’t know why” when I do know why from research in another branch of science.

Also, even if they are aware of some of the stunning scientifically proven benefits (such as 50% risk reduction for the number one killer, cardiovascular disease just knowing the benefits does not help they much if they do not know how to help people become more optimistic and positively focused. With depression rates at epidemic proportions worldwide it might seem futile to consider this path but that is a false premise.

Classes have been developed classes that can teach anyone with the desire how to increase their level of optimism and positivity. It is not hard and or expensive to do. In fact, when the benefits are weighed against the cost it is cheaper than dirt.

A combination of knowledge and skills has been masterfully woven together to create classes that not only increase positivity and optimism but also many other aspects that are beneficial to employers such as emotional intelligence and resilience.

The results address not only health care issues such as costs, absenteeism, and presenteeism but also increase productivity, reduce turnover and employee bickering and improve relationships of all types.

Utilizing many evidence based skills these classes have been carefully crafted to benefit each individual in ways that are suitable for them.

When you consider that increased positivity and optimism have greater health benefits than quitting smoking or losing weight and that a more positively focused individual is more likely to be self-motivated to make good choices about nutrition, exercise, lifestyle, and sleep the benefits of increased positivity double.

So, for now, they get the benefit of the doubt.

What do those who adopt a program to increase employee optimism and positivity get? They get a competitive advantage that will propel them ahead of other companies who are late adopters.

employee wellness programs

Negative Thoughts Kill Your Brain Cells

Jeanine Joy PhDJuly 26, 2014

Negative Thoughts Kill (Brain Cells)

So many branches of science are demonstrating the benefit of positivity. Positive and optimistic thoughts are good for us — good for our health, our relationships, our success, and our very ability to think clearly.

I feel great appreciation for the scientists from so many different fields of study who have turned their attention to human thriving. Without their hard work and dedication I would not have been able to weave together a program that provides both the skills and knowledge needed for individuals to successfully think more positively.

I have heard that refrain for most of my life – “Be Positive” or “Look on the bright side” or “Don’t worry, be happy”? It always sounded like good advice but I did not know how for a long time. As I learned how it became clear why so many people attempt to change in this area and fail — I learned the common reasons for not being successful and gathered the resources and knowledge necessary to overcome those common obstacles.

Information was gathered from countless bodies of knowledge. If it could contribute to the truth about how to create greater human thriving I was interested, passionately interested in understanding it.

The programs we offer stand on the shoulders of not one giant, but many giants who came before and without whom we would never have been able to create this magnificent program.

They have provided all the information necessary to help anyone thrive in ways they may have never believed possible. The program empowers individuals to succeed in their well-being, in their relationships, in their earthly pursuits, in following their passion, in understanding their purpose, in all that is important.

Today I happened upon another piece of the puzzle that I am going to share. I love it when science is presented in a clear manner that many people can relate to. I love the masterful way this material is presented. It starts out as if it is religious but it is not – any person of any faith, spiritual belief or atheism can find value in the message in this video.

But, as brilliant as the mind that created it is — he still includes a negative thought in his positive meditation – even though he intends for it to be a positive meditation. As he states, his deepest belief is compassion he pulls himself back to a negative thought by adding that he is not good at being compassionate. This makes it clear that even experts can gain by guidance — that learning to be positively focused takes both knowledge and skills. That is what we provide in our programs at Happiness 1st Institute.

Use the Contact Us area of our website to find out about the new and exciting classes that will help you build more brain cells as well as other products and services.

Benefits, Blogs, Peace, Science

negative thoughts kill your brain cells

The Power of Appreciation

The Power of Appreciation

At this time of the year I often wonder if putting aside a single day a year for Thanksgiving serves us. I find that a life where I look for things to appreciate every day is so much richer and fuller than when I used to focus on that activity only on the 4th Thursday in November when Thanksgiving is practiced in the USA.

When we focus on things to appreciate each day many factors aid us in their discovery. The very way our brain is structured ensures that we see more of what we look for. This means that when we look for things to appreciate we see them – in our families, in our friends, in our communities, in our world and in ourselves. This one act, appreciation, is a very high emotional state that enriches the life of anyone who makes it a habit. Love and appreciation are so close emotionally they are hardly discernable one from another. A conscious decision to appreciate can lead to a life that is more wonderful than can be imagined by someone who has not done so.

While it is lovely to have a day that is focused on thanksgiving, to enjoy family, friends, and feasting; it is far more wonderful to appreciate each and every day.

What can be appreciated? There is so much. It is everywhere. Right now I can hear the birds singing outside. Their song is lovely. That takes me to thoughts of appreciation that I live somewhere that allows me to hear the sounds of nature. Right now my daughter’s puppy is nestled against my legs enjoying just being close to me – something she demonstrates daily. That brings me to thoughts about how her puppy wakes each day with enthusiasm and joy. She reminds me to awaken with that same amount of enthusiasm and eagerness for the day ahead.

My thoughts of appreciation turn to those closest to me, my partner, my children and my closest friends. There are so many aspects of them to appreciate. The warmth and comfort of my home is something I appreciate each day especially like now, when the sunshine is flowing through the windows.

Thoughts of appreciation invariably bring me to a conversation with a bank president I was coaching a few years ago and when I suggested a practice of consciously appreciating three things every day he asked (in the midst of the financial downturn), “Can I start with just one? It is rather hard to find three things to appreciate right now.” I responded by asking him if he had food on his table when he sat down to dinner the previous night. Of course, the answer was yes. Then I asked if he had a table that his plate sat upon. It becomes obvious that we are surrounded by things we can appreciate if we make that choice.

Our society has been trained to appreciate the “big” things. Things like our team winning the championship when there are so many things to appreciate on the way to the championship. Every game there is new knowledge gained, encouragement and supportive words are offered to one another. Skills are honed. Lessons are learned. Life goes on in the background of the game – babies born, relationships beginning or deepening; all of these have aspects to appreciate.

What exists in your life that you can appreciate? Make a decision to deliberately find at least three things to appreciate every day between now and the end of 2012 and see how different (better) your life feels. See how your relationships deepen and every day seems to hold more blessings.

This is not about wearing rose colored glasses. It is not that you won’t see something that is not as you desire it to be. It is seeing with eyes that look for the good instead of eyes that look for the flaws. Both realities exist and are accurate. It is the stance of the perceiver that makes the difference.

Some say it is not realistic to have a positive focus but let’s be real about that. If there is something, say a relationship, where 99% of it is working perfectly, brilliantly and beautifully but 1% is out of whack – is it realistic to look at 1% and assert that the whole is broken? Or is it more realistic to look at the 99% that is working wonderfully and believe that the 1% is something that can be addressed and does not ruin the 99% that is working.

Deliberately deciding to be in a state of appreciation does not mean you ignore and do not deal with things that need tending. It does mean you do not color your whole life with the outlook that because there is one thing wrong everything is wrong.

The 1%/99% can be applied to any area of life – health, relationships, career, home, body, vacations, etc.

We can enjoy the journey even when the road is bumpy and rutted if we make a decision to look for things that are good during the journey.

Many have been trained to see life in ways that make the journey far less enjoyable than it could be. The same journey can be heaven for one and hell for another – their perspective makes the difference.

Our programs are designed to make the journey not only more enjoyable but understandable. The journey to a better-feeling life can be easier than you’ve ever imagined.

Contact Us for information on upcoming programs or to be the first to learn the details of our new portable CD programs coming soon.

You can have the life of your dreams.

Please consider sharing this with your friends and family. You never know who you may help by passing it on. It is a random act of kindness that will ripple outward.

Comments are welcome.

power of appreciation

What will it take to Wake You Up?

What Will It Take to Wake You Up?

Positive emotions are required for your body to function at its peak performance.

Being stoic or tolerating being in a negative state of mind often is unhealthy.

The scientific evidence of this is clear.

We need to care for our bodies and part of caring for our bodies, even more important to their health than whether or not we smoke, is that we enjoy positive emotions often.

Are you still harboring resentment towards a long ago wrong?

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned.” – Buddha

Are you holding on to feelings of not being loved enough at some point in your life? That part of your life is over and only your thoughts about it are keeping it alive.

Are you refusing to forgive, believing that they do not deserve your forgiveness? The one you benefit by your forgiveness is you.

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” – Lewis B. Smedes

Are you loving yourself? The often quoted verse is “Love thy neighbor as thyself” but many people treat themselves worse than they would their worst enemy in the conversations they have in their own minds and in the mirror. Remember to love yourself. You really cannot love others if you do not love and accept yourself.

You do not have to judge yourself as lacking to decide to improve or change something about yourself. It is perfectly acceptable to be fine as you are and decide to improve something to make yourself even better. Self acceptance means you recognize that you are evolving and becoming throughout life. If you are not all that you desire to be today there is always tomorrow when you will be more than you are today.

Do you spend your commute time angry at the situation? You can make it enjoyable with a little thought and effort.

Do you go to a job you hate every day? There has to be some aspect you can focus upon that will feel better to you.

Decisions are powerful. We can show you the decisions you can make – without any circumstances changing – that will help you be happier. Circumstances have a way of changing to match your state of happiness.

Science has shown that happiness contributes positively to good health, to success and to good relationships.

Ask us how we can help you by contacting us. We have answers that address the root causes and result in real progress towards your dreams, desires, and goals.

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Is Your Happiness a Selfish Desire?

The Fallacy of Seeking Ones Own Happiness Being A Selfish Act

This new frontier is such an interesting journey. There are so many common beliefs that are based on false assumptions to overcome. Society has been teaching humans misinformation about happiness for generations. It explains a lot about how things have gotten so bad for so many.

One of the most common fallacies I encounter is the perception that seeking ones own happiness is selfish.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

A happy Mother would never abuse her child. Only unhappy ones ever do.

A happy husband would never abuse his wife. Only an unhappy one would and whether or not he is happy is his issue; no one can make another person happy.

A happy person would not go on a killing spree. Only deeply unhappy people do that.

When an individual is happy there are many benefits that extend to their family, friend, employer and community.

If a scale weighed the individual benefits of happiness against the benefits that individual’s happiness gives to their family, friends, co-workers and community it would be self evident that ones own happiness was not a selfish act.

I am not referring to the transitory happiness that one achieves based on external circumstances. The happiness I refer to is a deep sense of inner stability, well-being, peace and vitality that is consistent and easy to return to when life tosses an obstacle in ones path.

That sort of happiness brings many benefits. Here is a statement students in our programs can read to help them realize that making their own happiness a priority is far from a selfish act.

When I am happy I am at my best. I am in the best health. I am in the best mood. I am able to think with greater clarity. I am able to see solutions to problems far more readily. I need less from others (pumping up, assistance of all types, etc.). I have better relationships. I am more resilient. I have more energy. I contribute more by being happy so being happy is a priority for me. When I am happy I contribute to others by inspiring them to happiness. I contribute to others because when I feel great I want to help others feel just as wonderful. Sometimes, when someone feels rotten it makes them feel better to see someone else feel rotten too or see someone who is even worse off then they are. When I am happy it lifts me even higher to help others up and I gain no happiness or relief from their not being in a good place. Minding my own happiness is minding my health because when I am happy I will be inclined to make good decisions about my diet, exercise and other habits. Happiness reduces the stress on my body and enables it to more easily maintain or regain its health. My immune system functions better when I am happy. My happiness is good for me and good for the world.

Another common fallacy is that an individual can make another one happy. If you have ever attempted to cheer up someone who had decided they were going to be miserable you know that until the person decided they want to be happy nothing anyone else can do will make a significant difference. Others can certainly contribute greatly to our happiness by providing positive things to focus on but we always have the ability to focus on less pleasing things no matter how pleasing they are being.

There are specific skills and a base of knowledge that can help anyone increase their level of happiness and increase their potential to thrive.

You can do it. Anyone can.